TOOLS: Tools and Mindsets for Effective Dating

Dating requires unique tools. Strong skills and suitable attitudes will contribute greatly to enjoyable and productive dates.

This ‘Tools’ section of the website covers a range of tips and ideas to generate good conversations, from listening and questioning skills. It offers great perspectives on the practice of dating, from dating etiquette to being presentable on a date, from understanding your own and your date’s personality,  to recognizing when and how to seek outside assistance.

The dating process explained.

Dating can take two strangers who just recently had never even heard of each other, to become inseparable. Two people who have never met now want to spend the rest of their lives together.

This does not happen in one leap. The dating pair go through several stages in the process, even if the time duration can be quite short. Each stage involves different skills and can be faced with different issues. Those are usually skills and issues that the people involved have never been faced with in any other area of their lives.

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How to be more interesting.

When you have an interesting life, you will have so much more to speak about, and you’ll come across as an interesting person. Your dates will be more engaging and meaningful.

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How being bullied affects dating.

The victim of bullying may find dating more difficult, and the one dating them will also be affected. There are two main effects of bullying: insecurity and unconfidence. Both impact dating.

When someone is insecure and lacking self-confidence, they keep their guard up; they are defensive and afraid to be vulnerable. They are afraid to trust others. This holds them back from sharing about themselves and building a relationship. They often lack the courage to make big steps, like getting into a relationship.

If your fears and anxieties are coming from events in your past, you must do everything possible to not let that harm your present and destroy your future.
If you see that you are struggling, it is important that you get input from someone with an understanding of effective dating. You may benefit from guidance from a dating coach or a wise shadchan.

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Do I have to tell my date problematic things I have done in the past?

Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If you have done things you should be ashamed of, not feeling guilt would be a bad thing. But if the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing.

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