“I can’t help who I am attracted to”

Attraction is a very personal thing. Clearly, there needs to be an attraction between two people for a shidduch to work out.

At the same time, attraction needs to be put in perspective of the marriage and lifelong compatibility. In the actual marriage, other factors are most likely going to play a much greater role. Shared values, empathy, generosity, stability all are elements that are crucial for successful marriage.

Devora Krasnianski

Know the difference between love and infatuation.

A relationship based on love is likely to stand the test of time; one based on infatuation won’t last. Love and infatuation can feel very similar. Make sure that what you have is (the beginnings of) real love, not infatuation.

Love comes from shared values and a common vision, along with a meaningful knowledge of and connection with another. Infatuation is based on heady chemistry, excitement about all the attention, and physical attraction.

Yossi Ives