Acquaint
Getting to know each other
This “Acquaint” section of the website focuses on getting to know one another. The purpose of the first few dates is to see if there is a suitable level of compatibility. But what aspects need to be compatible, and how do you best find that out?
Read about whether to trust your instinct, what to reveal during the first dates, how to handle surprising information, how to spot red flags, how to understand personality types, and what you may choose to do if the first dates didn’t go too well.
Conversation on first dates
July 10, 2022
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The first half-hour of the first date(s) is all about loosening up, breaking any tension and just … getting through it. Keep things lighthearted, natural and quite general. Ask light questions with the intent to find something in common. When you are starting a conversation, not all topics will catch on right away. When something seems to catch both of your attention, hover on that topic and dive deeper.
First dates are not all about chit-chatting about random topics. The goal of the first dates is to get a sense of who the other person is. You both should be sharing bits about yourself in areas that are not that private.
“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
July 6, 2022
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More than the exact differences of your religiosity levels is the ‘what’ and ‘who’. What are the differences; are they major or minor? Who are each of you; how flexible are each of you?
“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
July 6, 2022
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Some people may think they are attracted to only a certain look and won’t even consider dating someone who doesn’t have those features. They rationalize
“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
July 6, 2022
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Attraction is a very personal thing. Clearly, there needs to be an attraction between two people for a shidduch to work out.
At the same time, attraction needs to be put in perspective of the marriage and lifelong compatibility. In the actual marriage, other factors are most likely going to play a much greater role. Shared values, empathy, generosity, stability all are elements that are crucial for successful marriage.
It’s OK to ask personal questions on a first date
May 10, 2022
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More than the exact differences of your religiosity levels is the ‘what’ and ‘who’. What are the differences; are they major or minor? Who are each of you; how flexible are each of you?
It’s OK to ask personal questions on a first date.
May 9, 2022
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Personal is not the same thing as private.
This might just be semantics, but they are two different types of questions. A private question addresses matters which are private. A personal question elicits an answer that is unique to that person.
He talks endlessly about himself on the date. Should I be concerned?
April 3, 2022
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Talking about himself a lot is not necessarily a sign of arrogance, or a problem. More important is how he thinks of, and treats, others.
We have different religious levels, is this a problem?
April 3, 2022
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More than the exact differences of your religiosity levels is the ‘what’ and ‘who’. What are the differences; are they major or minor? Who are each of you; how flexible are each of you?
How to talk about parents and family on a date.
January 26, 2022
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Family often brings out a lot of passion in people. They are the people we love most, but also the people who have the capacity
You may be an idiot, but there is no obligation to show it!
January 24, 2022
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Dating doesn’t have to be all serious. If you have a fun personality, let it show. Have a good time, and let your date have
Why the first few dates are so important.
January 24, 2022
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A good number of people could struggle with the very first dates. They tend to be those who are less adept at social interaction and
The person I am dating seems to think only about himself. Should I get out?
January 24, 2022
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Some people tend towards selflessness. Others are naturally more selfish; the needs of others are less important to them. Some may not warm to such
The Five Fundamentals – The factors most important to look for in a spouse.
January 24, 2022
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The five most important traits affecting relationships are: Emotional stability/Low neuroticism – Agitation, anger, irritation, hostility, touchiness, defensiveness Agreeableness – Degree of niceness and friendliness Conscientiousness – Making
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