Do you actually know what you are looking for? Your list of preferences is only useful if real thought has gone into it. While you may learn things by actually meeting someone, you should not start dating without having a good sense of what you are looking for.

Think of people you know who have qualities you value. Write up a list of those traits and number them in order of importance to you. We recommend that you organize your list according to three broad headings: 1) character traits 2) life and spiritual values, and 3) personal features.

Learn to prioritize the features that you consider truly important in each category. Don’t rely too heavily on your gut reactions. Rather, put together your list of dating criteria with the input of another person who knows you well and can help you to think through what is genuinely important for you. Also, take time to identify your own strengths and limitations, so help you find someone who has the strengths or qualities you require.

Refer to your list when deciding who to date, whether to commit and to ensure you are not getting emotionally involved before ensuring there is genuine compatibility.