Are you fine dating until the point where the dating turns “serious?” As soon as you sense that you have crossed over into “commitment territory,” all kinds of issues come to the fore and not from the most positive perspective?
You most likely consider this rethinking and reevaluating completely understandable, as you have now got to know your date better. Some people develop an avoidant or fearful attachment orientation. While they crave closeness, they also struggle to handle it. Whether because of poor bonding as a child or some other reason, some people will have difficulty with bonding and attachment.
Instead of the thought of true closeness making them happy, it causes a state of panic generated by a visceral sense of self-protection. All the negative associations stored deep in the recesses of your brain will come to the fore and cause mayhem. When the avoidance takes over, in place of warm feelings towards your date, you become terrified by them. It is as you imagine your date as a growling tiger baring its teeth.
Familiarize yourself with the way it is experienced and the impact it has. Self-awareness is vital. Once you understand what is happening, you are in a position to make smart choices. Also, do not go it alone; you are going to be a whole lot better off having a trusted sounding board. It is also best to bring your date into what you are going through. Otherwise, the whole situation can be extremely confusing and hurtful.
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