Dating for marriage is one of the most important things you shall ever do. This “Prepare” section of our website will help you approach it well and be dating-ready.
You will find thought-provoking materials to help you gain greater clarity about what you want from life and from marriage, from choosing your priorities in a mate, to dealing with emotional baggage, to addressing sensitive issues like physical or mental illness.
It is about the math. As soon as a person is looking for a quality or feature that is above-average – in other words, less
What does it mean to be married, besides not being single? Successful dating leads to marriage, and marriage can’t be done just any other way. It needs to be done right. There are some fundamental principles that are at the heart of what it means to be married. Here are some of the most important ideas for you to consider as you contemplate your future.
If you are told that a potential shidduch has a medical condition, it is reasonable for you to be apprehensive. Health is a very important issue, but it is only one of many important issues. Take the time to understand the facts of the matter, which often show things in a different light. And remember to consider the whole person, and not reduce them to their area of difficulty.
For a dating to go well, you need to be present and focused. If you are over-tired, exhausted, or distracted, the date can fall flat. If possible, it is best to begin dating when you are willing and able to apply the necessary time, energy, and clear mind to the project.
People are often encouraged to make a list of criteria to guide the search process. Without question, this is necessary and important, because how else can someone know who may be suitable for you.
You may marry “into” a family, but you are not marrying “the” family. People should be assessed on their own merit. At the same time, it is important to know what to try to understand about the family’s role on the person themselves. What type of parenting or family life did they have? How have they dealt with adversity in their upbringing? And, how important is a close connection to your spouse’s family?
You may reprioritize on some things you thought were important, but always make sure your spouse has your essential requirements. Dropping the insistence on unimportant preferences is perfectly okay, but do not abandon your truest priorities because it will mean you don’t have to date anymore.
“Attachment” is a fascinating and complex matter, and the consequences are enormous for people’s experience of entering into a relationship and how their fair once married. In fact, the issue of attachment may be the single most central and important factor in the quality and success of people’s relationships.
While therapy is designed to deal with traumas and wounds from the past, coaching is focused on helping someone figure out what to do going forward. If you feel stuck in your dating, you might benefit from working with a coach. If you are struggling with a significant issue, you will benefit from working with a therapist.
The question of whether to consider dating or marrying someone who has a psychological problem is one of the most difficult relationship matters. The consequences could be enormous, and there is also a great deal of confusion and fear surrounding this issue. The purpose of this article is to offer some clarity to help you to make a thoughtful decision as to what is in your best interest.
Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If you have done things you should be ashamed of, not feeling guilt would be a bad thing. But if the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing.
Every person’s character is made of ‘parts’, generally these work well together. For some people, their parts want conflicting things. This makes dating for marriage more complex. But not impossible.
A girls meets a guy and is super excited about his date. This excitement remains at implausible levels for a few dates… until cracks appear in the image of perfection.
Needless to say, this is a highly sensitive topic. We discuss how dating and pursuit of marriage is likely being impeded by an addiction to porn. The purpose here is to look at the ways that it complicates a person’s path towards forming a healthy relationship.
Many people find something exhilarating about dating someone particularly smart. They find it easier to respect the person and take them seriously. They find the conversation is more stimulating and engaging. Where it gets complicated is when people also want – or more likely need – other features in their spouse which do not necessarily go hand-in-glove with intellectual brilliance.
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