Summaries – Page 2 – Date Well

Dating is an important and serious matter, so we encourage you to delve into the topics. At the same time, all our articles have summaries to provide an overview of the subject.

It is best to use the summaries to see if a particular topic is relevant or useful. If it addresses a topic of interest to you, dive deeper with the full-length article.

Here you can find all the summaries of our articles. Browse and enjoy!

Do I need therapy?

You are single and have been trying to get married for a while. Things are not going so well. You have dated a decent number of people, and not only have you not met ultimate

Conflicting and confused priorities.

Without realizing it, some people are actually looking for opposites in a single person – which may explain why things are not going so well. It is not impossible for those differing traits to exist

Are you fixated by appearance?

People often insist that the reason that they give such prominence to the physical attractiveness of their date is because it is greatly important to them. The reason why they have turned down so many

Are there actually two of you dating? Why you may be perpetually dissatisfied.

Some people find that whomever they date, they invariably find themselves dissatisfied. Nothing seems to work for them. Usually, people who struggle in this way think they are being entirely reasonable and are entirely unaware

“I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up.”

Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move

“I can’t help who I am attracted to”

Some people may think they are attracted to only a certain look and won’t even consider dating someone who doesn’t have those features. They rationalize their perspective by saying that they can’t control who they

Best not to date if you unable to give it the time and focus it deserves.

For a date to go well, you need to be present and focused. If you are over-tired, exhausted, or distracted, the dating can fall flat. If possible, it is best to begin dating when you

A suggestion from a shadchan is not the only way to find a shidduch.

The shidduch can come from anywhere, and anyone can be the shadchan. Many shidduchim are made through a relative or friend, or even a stranger. Keep an open mind. Networking works! Reach out to people

I like the person I am dating, but I find other people much prettier/smarter.

This bothers her and plants seeds of doubt in her mind about whether she made the right choice. Being confronted by jarring feelings of self-doubt can be quite debilitating and painful. This can happen to

I have sensitive information to reveal: how can I do this while causing least damage?

If you need to disclose sensitive information, it is important that you handle the process in a way that will cause the least damage. While each situation is clearly different, there are some common principles.

First date didn’t go so well, is it recommended that I have a second date?

After a less than successful first date, many people are encouraged to go on a second date “just to be sure.” Is this a sensible suggestion? It really depends on why the first date did

Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for.

Some people see dating as looking to see if there is full agreement between the parties. The minute they hit upon some area of disagreement, they feel disappointed. Instead of raising their concern with their

Do Opposites Attract?

Do I have to tell my date problematic things I have done in the past?

If nothing else, dating is about honesty. There are several important reasons for this. The main element of dating is “mutual self-disclosure,” whereby each party progressively shares and reveals more about themselves. Dating is also

Difference is not the end of the world

Dating is mostly about ensuring there is a great deal of agreement: about values, life goals, mutual interest, and so on. But there does not need to be universal agreement. It is perfectly okay, and

Be wary of judging the shidduch by how much you enjoy the date.

Many people don’t – and won’t – enjoy dating. In theory, dating is this exhilarating experience. We get to meet a lovely person and spend a really nice evening getting to know them. What’s not

Are short dates a bad sign?

Accept that people don’t fundamentally change

Wishful thinking is one of the most powerful forces on the planet. When we generally like someone, we try to convince ourselves that there is a way that all those aspects that we don’t like

How and why anxiety can get the better of you in dating.

Some people have what is known as an “anxious attachment orientation”, which means that they hold on extra tight to the person they are attached to. They are likely to

Are you fixated by appearance?

People often insist that the reason that they give such prominence to the physical attractiveness of their date is because it is greatly important to them. The reason why they

Difference is not the end of the world

Dating is mostly about ensuring there is a great deal of agreement: about values, life goals, mutual interest, and so on. But there does not need to be universal agreement.

I am painfully quiet and find dating worrying and challenging.

Dating can leave some people feeling nervous, anxious, and worried. Remember that opening up to someone relatively quickly is not something we have to do in any other situation, so

Recognizing narcissistic tendencies.

Some people tend towards selflessness. Others are naturally more selfish; the needs of others are less important to them. Some may not warm to such a character, and that is

Why can’t I find someone with all the qualities I am looking for?

It is about the math. As soon as a person is looking for a quality or feature that is above-average – in other words, less common – there are fewer

I am attracted to smart people, is that a problem?

Many people find something exhilarating about dating someone particularly smart. They find it easier to respect the person and take them seriously. They find the conversation is more stimulating and

How addiction to pornography could be affecting your dating.

Clearly, there are halachic, spiritual and psychological issues with pornography. Here we are looking at ‘addiction’ to porn, which means that the person feels a degree of compulsion. An addiction