Should I take a break?

Taking a break during dating is often a cop out and will not achieve anything. Most doubts or uncertainties regarding your dating partner are best

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End a shidduch with dignity.

You’ve been dating someone for a few times. You’ve both shared about yourselves and know quite a bit about each other. And then you determine that this person is not for you, and you want to end the relationship. Remember, this is a vulnerable time for both of you. How you end the relationship should be done with dignity and respect – for both of your sakes.

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Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for.

The purpose of dating is not to confirm automatic full agreement on every topic. There is no reason to feel disappointed the minute there is some area of disagreement. Unless the gap is felt to be truly unbridgeable, these are exactly the issues that should be discussed while on the date in an open and honest manner. Negotiation and compromise are not bad words. They will be your best friend in marriage, and you might as well befriend them during dating.

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Should I take a break?

There are unique situations when a break would be helpful. The first is what we term a Feelings Break, when you find there is strong compatibility but you feel that you don’t have a sufficient emotional connection. A break may allow you to see whether there is a flicker of connection upon which to build. The second we call a Thinking Break, when you have strong feelings towards your dating partner but are facing a major decision and feel that it should not be clouded by the growing emotional bond. If a break is warranted, it must be broached with the utmost sensitivity and maturity.

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Do I need therapy?

While therapy is designed to deal with traumas and wounds from the past, coaching is focused on helping someone figure out what to do going forward. If you feel stuck in your dating, you might benefit from working with a coach. If you are struggling with a significant issue, you will benefit from working with a therapist.

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He says “I am not ready, let’s continue dating”. Should I agree?

Where is the request to continue the dating process coming from? Has overall compatibility been established? What do they say they need clarity on?

Especially important Is to be clear between the two of you as to what kind of clarity is to be gained during the next dates.

Set a goal and a timeframe. Not an ultimatum. Don’t pressure.

Sometimes, people get stuck. It is worthwhile to get professional support in making a decision.

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Conflicting and confused priorities.

There are occasions when people have aspirations or expectations do not hold up to rational analysis because they have conflicting or confused priorities. No one person can possibly meet those conflicting requirements.

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