NAVIGATE: Navigating the Shidduch Process

The shidduch process can be mightily confusing. This “Navigate” section aims to make the process clearer and to help guide you through it.
We cover all things shadchan-related, as well as how to network broadly for dating suggestions. You will find here strategies and tips on conducting research, interacting with parents and mentors, preparing your shidduch profile, and how to cope with the difficult feelings of disappointment or rejection – and numerous other topics as well.

If you are getting ‘no’ often.

If you keep getting turned down, it is vital that you stop and ask “why?” Here are a range of factors to consider, whether the rejection is during the research phase, after the first date, or whether it is after several dates. Reflect deeply, request feedback, seek advice.

open »
does family really matter

Does family really matter when it comes to a shidduch?

You may marry “into” a family, but you are not marrying “the” family. People should be assessed on their own merit. At the same time, it is important to know what to try to understand about the family’s role on the person themselves. What type of parenting or family life did they have? How have they dealt with adversity in their upbringing? And, how important is a close connection to your spouse’s family?

open »

A suggestion from a shadchan is not the only way to find a shidduch.

The shidduch can come from anywhere, and anyone can be the shadchan. Many shidduchim are made through a relative or friend, or even a stranger. Keep an open mind. Networking works! Reach out to people you know to see who they know. There are many opportunities to network. More than one shidduch emerged because of an informal chat at the manicure salon! If you see or hear of someone suitable for yourself, don’t be shy to broach the idea.

open »