Commit

Committing to Marriage

The commitment phase of dating can be both exciting and scary. Are you ready to go forward with the most important decision of your life?
In this “Commit” section, we have lots of really helpful materials to see you through the final phase of dating, from what you need to know and discuss before making a final decision, to how to deal with remaining niggling doubt, to how best to propose.

What Are You Committing To? Some pointers for discussion

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

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Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

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I feel very strongly drawn to my date, but some things bother me.

If you have been dating for a while, and have learned the hard way that it is not easy to find someone who truly works for you, then you need to be focused on what really matters. Perhaps all people would do well to be clear about their priorities and not allow relatively minor issues to dampen enthusiasm for a promising relationship.

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I am looking for my soulmate; how do I know when I have found it?

When people speak about finding their soulmate, they generally mean one of two things. For some people it means looking for someone with whom they can have a deeper connection. Others, though, are searching for someone who can be their “everything” – and that can become a problem.
That person is not your soulmate because you are identical in every way, but because when together both of your souls thrive and flourish.

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Do you have an “avoidance issue”?

You may find that there always is something that prevents you from reaching the engagement stage. Repeatedly you find that something impossible to ignore is bothering you, and you feel utterly unable to contemplate marriage.

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Before committing to marriage – for women

When making the decision to commit to marriage, think with your head and not only with your heart. Before committing to marriage, THINK about these aspects of your relationship. And substantiate with examples and anecdotes.

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Before committing to marriage – for men

When making the decision to commit to marriage, think with your head and not only with your heart. Before committing to marriage, THINK about these aspects of your relationship. And substantiate with examples and anecdotes.

open »

What Are You Committing To? Some pointers for discussion

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

open »

Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

open »

I feel very strongly drawn to my date, but some things bother me.

If you have been dating for a while, and have learned the hard way that it is not easy to find someone who truly works for you, then you need to be focused on what really matters. Perhaps all people would do well to be clear about their priorities and not allow relatively minor issues to dampen enthusiasm for a promising relationship.

open »

I am looking for my soulmate; how do I know when I have found it?

When people speak about finding their soulmate, they generally mean one of two things. For some people it means looking for someone with whom they can have a deeper connection. Others, though, are searching for someone who can be their “everything” – and that can become a problem.
That person is not your soulmate because you are identical in every way, but because when together both of your souls thrive and flourish.

open »

Do you have an “avoidance issue”?

You may find that there always is something that prevents you from reaching the engagement stage. Repeatedly you find that something impossible to ignore is bothering you, and you feel utterly unable to contemplate marriage.

open »

Before committing to marriage – for women

When making the decision to commit to marriage, think with your head and not only with your heart. Before committing to marriage, THINK about these aspects of your relationship. And substantiate with examples and anecdotes.

open »

Before committing to marriage – for men

When making the decision to commit to marriage, think with your head and not only with your heart. Before committing to marriage, THINK about these aspects of your relationship. And substantiate with examples and anecdotes.

open »