What is “attachment” and why is this so important for romantic relationships?

Many of us are inclined to form adult relationships that are what psychologists call “poorly attached,” which could cause us to experience difficulties in dating.

For example, you may find that there always is something that prevents you from reaching the commitment stage. Repeatedly you find that something impossible to ignore is bothering you, and you feel utterly unable to contemplate marriage. The idea of proposing or accepting a proposal for marriage fills you with dread. What is really going on is that you have an “avoidant attachment orientation”, which makes the prospect of a lifelong commitment seem a terrifying thought.

Some people may have an “anxious attachment orientation”, which means that they hold on extra tight to the person they are attached to. They are likely to want to constantly be in contact with their love-interest, want to know exactly where they are all the time, and react poorly when their date displays their independence. Sadly, this controlling behavior can push away the very person you are so desperate to keep close.

If properly understood, these issues can usually be readily overcome, but you are best off getting the appropriate guidance and support.

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