I feel very strongly drawn to my date, but some things bother me.

Someone may be “stuck”. While they are dating someone they really like and get along with excellently, they are struggling with the idea of proposing because some things bother them.

It may seem obvious that it is out of the question to commit to marrying someone you still have doubts about. Would that not lead to constant misgivings? The problem is that often it is far from correct. The relationship may have compelling attributes that are far outweighed by the much smaller reservations – but you may be unable to see that.

Sometimes, you meet a person who strongly fulfills a profound need that you have that few others will fill. By contrast, the issues that are bothering you may be relatively marginal. It is important that those issues assume their appropriate dimensions. Priority needs to be given to being with someone who meets his core needs.

If you have other key priorities, you need to reduce the other issues to their correct proportion. If you have been dating for a while, and have learned the hard way that it is not easy to find someone who truly works for you, then you need to be focused on what really matters.

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