Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for.

Some people see dating as looking to see if there is full agreement between the parties. The minute they hit upon some area of disagreement, they feel disappointed. Instead of raising their concern with their dating partner, they express their frustration to their parents, shadchan, coach, etc. Unless the gap is felt to be truly unbridgeable, these are exactly the issues that should be discussed while on the date.

It is vital that you bring up your concerns openly and honestly. Say that such-and-such bothers you. Perhaps you will get clarification. There could have been a legitimate misunderstanding. Perhaps your date will hear your point of view and agree with your stance. It could be a mistake or the product of bad advice.

Negotiation and compromise are not bad words. They will be your best friend in marriage, and you might as well befriend them during dating.

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