For a dating to go well, you need to be present and focused. If you are over-tired, exhausted, or distracted, the date can fall flat. If possible, it is best to begin dating when you are willing and able to apply the necessary time, energy, and clear mind to the project.
For a dating to go well, you need to be present and focused. If you are over-tired, exhausted, or distracted, the date can fall flat. If possible, it is best to begin dating when you are willing and able to apply the necessary time, energy, and clear mind to the project.
A Shadchan’s job is not easy. They are tasked to find someone you will like, when they are not you. Here are a range of useful tips as to work together with the shadchan is as productive a manner as possible.
It is important not to confuse the goal and process of dating. Dating is a means to an end. Hopefully is runs smoothly and is a highly enjoyable experience. But not everyone will find dating easy.
It is vital that you don’t judge the prospective life-partner by how much you are enjoying the dating, but rather my how suitable and compatible you are for each other.
A central feature of marriage is the ability and willingness to give and share. Some people find that difficult, and focus mostly on their own needs and wishes. Dr Elinor Greenberg sets out the main characteristics of narcissism, and how you can identify narcissistic tendencies.
If you have a strong personality, you don’t have to change (and really, you can’t change). You do need to recognize how others perceive you, and perhaps adopt more moderately adjusted behaviors – especially when dating.
“Being yourself” is highly overrated during the early stages of dating. Better advice would be to “act your best self.” Before you have established trust and closeness, it is best not to pull out your silliness.
Your intuition should be taken seriously and listened to, but only insofar as it urges you to take a careful look at the issue. Not as the arbiter of what is right.
Don’t marry someone with the hope that they will change. As much as you may wish it, people don’t easily change their attitudes and core beliefs. Rather, think: Would you marry the person as they are? If the answer is yes – but you would rather they change this thing about themselves – then you have nothing to lose. If the answer is no, then this is not a compatible match for you.
If he is very interested in your appearance, but he is also deeply engaged in other ways, then take it as a compliment. If then is only into your looks, then …
Many people find something exhilarating about dating someone particularly smart. They find it easier to respect the person and take them seriously. They find the conversation is more stimulating and engaging. Where it gets complicated is when people also want – or more likely need – other features in their spouse which do not necessarily go hand-in-glove with intellectual brilliance.
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