Feeling stuck in your dating?

In an ideal world, one finds the right person to date and the process unfolds seamlessly towards marriage. In reality, many people get stuck along the way. There are many possible reasons. Some find it hard to open up, others struggle with communication. Some people are burdened by anxiety, while others are commitment-phobic. It only takes being stuck on one thing for dating to grind to a halt.

Getting unstuck is usually about gaining self-awareness and a better understanding of how dating and relationships work. The problem is that most people don’t realize they are stuck, and for sure have no idea why they may be stuck. So, the first task is to become clearer about what is going on. From there, the path forward may be pretty straightforward. Many of Date Well’s articles address various reasons why some could be stuck during dating. We hope you will find them useful.

Why am I not ‘falling in love’?

Some people don’t fall in love, rather they grow in love. And so, their dating experience and path to marriage is different from most. They won’t be getting those butterflies or heady feelings that many get. Still, they can ‘know’ that this person is a great marriage partner.

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Should They Continue or Should They Quit?

When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?

Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.

open »

Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

open »

I really care for her, so why can’t I feel that passionate love?

You might be hoping that if you develop feelings towards, then your doubts will vanish. But it is your doubts that are making the chances of feeling love improbable. Go through the issues you have one by one and see if they really are deal-breakers. If they are not, you have to be willing to let them all go and start to “get in the moment.” You will see things change quite dramatically.

open »

I feel very strongly drawn to my date, but some things bother me.

If you have been dating for a while, and have learned the hard way that it is not easy to find someone who truly works for you, then you need to be focused on what really matters. Perhaps all people would do well to be clear about their priorities and not allow relatively minor issues to dampen enthusiasm for a promising relationship.

open »

Do you get stuck in the transition from “me” to “we”?

Dating begins as a selfish act, whereby a single person is seeking their own happiness. If it is to culminate in a lasting commitment it must result in a selfless love of another. For dating to have succeeded, we need to go from “me” to “we.” That is some journey to go on.

Some people get stuck along the way. If you find that you consistently get stuck along the way, it is worthwhile to ask yourself “Maybe it is me?” and not always assume there is something wrong with the other person.

open »

Conflicting and confused priorities.

There are occasions when people have aspirations or expectations do not hold up to rational analysis because they have conflicting or confused priorities. No one person can possibly meet those conflicting requirements.

open »

Why am I not ‘falling in love’?

Some people don’t fall in love, rather they grow in love. And so, their dating experience and path to marriage is different from most. They won’t be getting those butterflies or heady feelings that many get. Still, they can ‘know’ that this person is a great marriage partner.

open »

Should They Continue or Should They Quit?

When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?

Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.

open »

Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

open »

I really care for her, so why can’t I feel that passionate love?

You might be hoping that if you develop feelings towards, then your doubts will vanish. But it is your doubts that are making the chances of feeling love improbable. Go through the issues you have one by one and see if they really are deal-breakers. If they are not, you have to be willing to let them all go and start to “get in the moment.” You will see things change quite dramatically.

open »

I feel very strongly drawn to my date, but some things bother me.

If you have been dating for a while, and have learned the hard way that it is not easy to find someone who truly works for you, then you need to be focused on what really matters. Perhaps all people would do well to be clear about their priorities and not allow relatively minor issues to dampen enthusiasm for a promising relationship.

open »

Do you get stuck in the transition from “me” to “we”?

Dating begins as a selfish act, whereby a single person is seeking their own happiness. If it is to culminate in a lasting commitment it must result in a selfless love of another. For dating to have succeeded, we need to go from “me” to “we.” That is some journey to go on.

Some people get stuck along the way. If you find that you consistently get stuck along the way, it is worthwhile to ask yourself “Maybe it is me?” and not always assume there is something wrong with the other person.

open »

Conflicting and confused priorities.

There are occasions when people have aspirations or expectations do not hold up to rational analysis because they have conflicting or confused priorities. No one person can possibly meet those conflicting requirements.

open »