Marriage is a central life goal, and dating – as one’s route to marriage – likewise carries major importance.
Yet guidance for navigating the dating process is hard to come by. In particular, people desperately lack credible input for dealing with challenges and difficulties in relation to dating.
This Date Well website is a comprehensive resource to help singles and support networks (parents, shadchanim, mentors) to access valuable knowledge and insight to guide them in this journey towards making their most important life choice.
The unfortunate reality is that many people struggle in their path to marriage. Our goal is to smoothen that path for people, enabling them to go through dating with as few difficulties as possible.
Not a small number of people are experiencing years of frustrations with dating, and have not enjoyed the success they desire and deserve. Our mission is to provide real answers to help them enjoy the dating success that has been eluding them.
Shidduchim operate within an ecosystem. Parents, shadchanim, rabbanim, dating sites, therapists, and others, can play a role. Our mission is to help those supporting singles and their families to gain the fullest understanding of the issues.
Who we are
The content on this site was written by Yossi Ives and Devora Krasnianski. Both are passionate about helping singles to do well in dating. Between them, they have three decades of experience working in this sphere.
Devora is the founder of Adai Ad, an impactful educational project aiming to improve people’s dating and marriage. Devora has built up a highly successful WhatsApp group sharing a daily relationship tip that reaches thousands of people across the world. She is also the author of You in Your Marriage, containing over a hundred nuggets of relationship advice. Devora is married with…
Yossi has a PhD in coaching psychology, and is the author of Relationship Coaching, the authoritative book on the subject, and is the author of the chapter on relationship coaching in the Handbook of Coaching. He is the co-founder of JEP (Jewish European Professionals), that organizes major singles events in Europe. Yossi is the founder and director of Tag International Development, a humanitarian organization that operates around the world. Yossi has been the rabbi of congregations around the world, including now in Pomona, New York. He is the author of five books, including Seder Hishtalshelus (Heichal Menachem). Yossi is a qualified life coach, specializing in relationships. Yossi lives in New York, and is married with seven children and one grandchild.
This website can only provide information and ideas for your consideration. Ultimately, each individual needs to assess whether what they read is something they wish to act upon.
- All information on this site is for educational purposes only. We are not advocating that people act on the advice given here without consulting suitable advisors.
- We address a range of practical and real-life issues, but we do so on the basis that each individual will use this as an opportunity for reflection as to the applicability of the advice to their individual situation. People who decide to put any of our ideas into practice carry responsibility for their own decisions.
- While we don’t shy away from addressing topics of a psychological nature, it needs to be clear that that does not constitute psychological guidance. If you are facing a psychological matter, it is essential that you consult a qualified expert.
- Every effort is being made to ensure our content is consistent with, and indeed embodies, Torah values. However, the aim of this site is not to state Torah positions. If there is any question of a halachic or hashkafic, please consult a rav.
Our content is based on clear principles, which guide our approach to all dating matters:
- Dating should be pursued with a clear sense of purpose. People should not be dating to discover themselves. Rather, one begins dating because one has figured out what they are looking for in life and in a life-partner.
- People are making themselves highly vulnerable during dating, and it is therefore necessary for all parties involved in the process to act with great sensitivity. The highest standards of courtesy and dignity are demanded of everyone, especially the individuals actually dating.
- Problems should not be ignored, in the expectation that they will simply sort themselves out. If someone is consistently not getting a positive result, it is necessary to ask why and to look for ways to change the outcome. Often, with the requisite clarity, the situation can be dramatically improved.
- Our communities and those involved in shidduchim need to be open about the issues around dating, so that people aren’t left struggling on their own. There are a range of delicate issues, such as mental illness, that are often avoided, leaving those facing them with insufficient guidance to handle those issues.
- It is legitimate for there to be more than one approach to any given problem, and we welcome more than one opinion – even on this site. However, it is important that dating advice is credible and based on a thorough understanding of the issues.
- While it is absolutely the decision of the individual as to what their priorities should be, we encourage people to make their choices based on what actually works and is most likely to lead to a successful and happy outcome.
- Those providing guidance and support to singles should not be operating on the basis that things are obvious. Many, maybe most, singles would benefit greatly by having important information about dating pointed out to them. It is hard to see the basis for assuming that people dating have it all figured out when we see so many people struggling.